Manual № 99 · Divorce after a long marriage

The Unwritten Years

The manual for divorce after a long marriage.

The years you planned are gone. The years ahead are still unwritten.

12 modules · for the person whose long marriage is ending or has ended, whether you left, were left, or both

  1. 01Where You Are Standing
  2. 02When This Needs More Than a Workbook
  3. 03The One Who Left and the One Who Was Left
  4. 04Grieving the Future You Planned
  5. 05Who You Are After "We"
  6. 06"Too Late" and Other Thoughts Worth Checking
  1. 07Money Is Not the Side Issue
  2. 08Grown Children and the Family You Still Share
  3. 09A Social Life, Built on Purpose
  4. 10A House of One: Living Alone, Sleep, Drinking, and Health
  5. 11New Partners, on Your Terms
  6. 12The Next Ten Years, Written Down

Two editions

The manual, or the manual and the toolkit.

Standard edition

$39

The full program: all 12 modules, with the exercises, logs, and checklists that save as you go. Everything you need to do the work.

Elite edition · most complete

$69

Everything in Standard, plus The Toolkit, 14 techniques drawn from across the evidence base, each labeled with where it comes from and how good the support actually is, to use alongside this program rather than instead of it. With original diagrams throughout.

Start with Standard if you would rather. You can upgrade to Elite at any time for the $30 difference, and nothing you have written is lost. And once you have one manual, every other one is 20% off.

Inside The Toolkit

  1. 01Naming the Distortion
  2. 02The Whole Ledger
  3. 03The Kinder Voice
  4. 04Writing It Down, With a Shape
  5. 05A Place for the Replays
  6. 06Riding Out the Urge
  7. 07The Values Compass
  1. 08Toward, Not Away
  2. 09The Planned Week
  3. 10Your Convoy
  4. 11Asking Clearly, Declining Kindly
  5. 12One Problem at a Time
  6. 13One Step Up
  7. 14Is This Getting You What You Want?

Close to this one

Educational content, not therapy, diagnosis, or treatment, and not a substitute for a clinician when one is needed. Every manual opens with a safety page. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988 now.