Manual № 90 · Communication in a relationship

Understood

The manual for communication in a relationship.

Not a script to follow. The everyday work of making each other feel understood.

12 modules · for both partners in a committed relationship who want to understand each other better in everyday life, working together or one of you alone

  1. 01Feeling Understood Is the Point
  2. 02When Talking Better Is Not the Answer
  3. 03Small Bids, Every Day
  4. 04Listening to Understand
  5. 05Saying It So It Can Be Heard
  6. 06A Structure for the Talks That Matter
  1. 07Saying the Good Things Out Loud
  2. 08When One of You Is Under Strain
  3. 09Tone, Timing, and Texting
  4. 10Money, Sex, and Family
  5. 11Talking About How You Talk
  6. 12Your Plan for Being Understood

Two editions

The manual, or the manual and the toolkit.

Standard edition

$39

The full program: all 12 modules, with the exercises, logs, and checklists that save as you go. Everything you need to do the work.

Elite edition · most complete

$69

Everything in Standard, plus The Toolkit, 14 techniques drawn from across the evidence base, each labeled with where it comes from and how good the support actually is, to use alongside this program rather than instead of it. With original diagrams throughout.

Start with Standard if you would rather. You can upgrade to Elite at any time for the $30 difference, and nothing you have written is lost. And once you have one manual, every other one is 20% off.

Inside The Toolkit

  1. 01Catching the Bid
  2. 02Say It Back, Then Check
  3. 03Finding the Sense in It
  4. 04Meeting Good News
  5. 05Camera Words
  6. 06From Hint to Request
  7. 07Rules You Brought With You
  1. 08Asking What Kind of Help
  2. 09Thanks With Detail
  3. 10The Weekly State of Us
  4. 11When It Went Well
  5. 12Noticing the Hook
  6. 13The Half You Hold
  7. 14Questions That Open

Close to this one

Educational content, not therapy, diagnosis, or treatment, and not a substitute for a clinician when one is needed. Every manual opens with a safety page. If you are thinking about suicide, call or text 988 now.